feral but sober

“Kizzy: The Woman Who Shouldn’t Be Here… But Is.”-episode20

Today on Feral But Sober, I sat down with my girl Kizzy from The New Foundation Recovery Speaks — and she opened up in a way that was raw, honest, and unbelievably powerful.
Kizzy told us that her very first addiction wasn’t alcohol or pills — it was men and sex. In high school, she was extremely promiscuous, not because she wanted attention or drama, but because she truly believed sleeping with someone would make them love her. That was the only version of “love” she understood at the time, and it shaped everything that came after.
And when you hear the rest of her story, you understand exactly why.
Kizzy grew up with young parents who did the best they could, but at just nine years old, she survived years of sexual assault from her grandfather — a man she couldn’t escape, a man she still had to sit on the lap of at holidays. That trauma rewired her understanding of safety, affection, and worth. She was an athletic star in high school, popular, talented, killing it on the outside… but carrying a whole different world on the inside.
She went to college, started drinking heavy, met her first husband, and they had that fast, whirlwind romance. What she didn’t know was that he had a secret addiction. They went through two painful terminations, had two beautiful daughters, and somewhere in the middle of all that, Kizzy got introduced to pain pills after an injury — and the numbness felt like relief from everything she’d been running from.
Her parents stepped in with a small intervention and got her into treatment, and for a while she stayed off the pills. She was working, raising her girls, doing good. Then she met her second husband — and the second the ring was on, everything changed. He didn’t want her kids around. He didn’t want them heard. He didn’t even want them eating outside their rooms. When he told her she “would’ve been alright if she didn’t come with kids,” she left — and that’s when alcohol took over.
She didn’t even realize she was addicted until she woke up in withdrawal. The drinking got so bad she sent her girls to live with their dad, and they never lived with her again. She went to New Mexico fully intending to drink herself to death — six months, half a gallon of vodka a day. She collapsed outside and woke up a month later on life support. She had signed a DNR, but a nurse — who had just lost her brother to overdose — called Kizzy’s mom and said, “Not this one.” After Kizzy recovered, no one ever found that nurse again.
Doctors told her she’d never live without oxygen or an insulin pump. They were wrong.
She’s been sober 8½ years now. Married to a man who actually loves her. Showing up for people every single day on TikTok. Hosting morning lives. Helping women. Helping anyone who needs it.
But the deepest wound is the distance between her and her daughters. She sends them both a text every single day that just says, “I love you.” For years those messages didn’t even deliver. Now they do — still no response — but maybe that’s a little crack of hope. Maybe one day they’ll be ready. And if they are, she’s waiting with open arms.
Kizzy owns her past. She doesn’t sugarcoat it. She doesn’t blame anyone else. She stands in her truth and she stands in her recovery with so much grace.
And I’m proud to say our platforms are partnering up — we’re running a weekly women’s Zoom group together, and we’re hosting a three‑hour sober New Year’s Eve live party so nobody has to ring in the new year alone.
This episode is heavy, it’s honest, and it’s full of hope. Kizzy is living proof that you can lose everything, you can break, you can almost not make it — and still come back stronger, softer, and more full of purpose than ever.

“Ember: The Relapse That Rekindled Her Fire”-clawsoutpt14

In this episode of Feral But Sober, I sit down with Ember—a new friend I met on TikTok Live just a few weeks ago—who showed up ready to tell the truth about motherhood, addiction, relapse, and rebuilding.
Ember shares how her addiction to amphetamines began as a desperate attempt to stay awake and keep up with life as a mom of three boys. What started as survival slowly pulled her into isolation, away from family gatherings, holidays, and the people who loved her most. When her kids began asking why they didn’t go anywhere anymore, she shut down—until the day she finally called her sister and confessed everything.
Her family stepped in, ready to help her get to a 30‑day treatment program. But when childcare fell through at the last minute, Ember stayed home, sent her boys to their grandparents for a few days, and locked herself inside—sleeping, stabilizing, and only leaving for meetings. From there, she began to thrive. She joined recovery communities online, poured into others, and built nearly 60 days of sobriety.
Then life hit hard, and Ember found herself in a relapse. It lasted only a few days, but it shook her. She talks openly about what pulled her down, what lifted her back up, and what she learned about boundaries, burnout, and the danger of trying to save everyone else before saving yourself. Today, she’s 17 days back in recovery—and we are so proud of her.
Ember also shares the heartbreak of losing her brother to an overdose, and how grief shaped her journey without defining it. And in one of the most powerful moments of the episode, she recalls her young son looking at her this past Halloween and saying, “Mommy… I don’t know what happened, but can you stay this way?”
That sentence changed her.
That sentence anchored her.
That sentence reminded her who she’s fighting to become.
This is a story about relapse without shame, motherhood without perfection, and recovery without pretending. Ember shows us what it looks like to fall, get back up, and choose yourself again.

“Tyler’s Fight for Freedom: Service Animals, Parole, and Second Chances (Part 2)” episode 19

In Part 2 of Tyler’s story, we dive into the complicated and emotional battle surrounding his beloved service animal. After the dog bit his mother—requiring medical care—the large breed was detained by animal control. Though they agreed to release the animal after the mandatory hold, Tyler’s parole officer declared it a “vicious dog” and insisted he could not have it back. Tyler shares the raw details of reclaiming his companion anyway, and the looming threat of parole violation that hangs over him. Despite the risk, he believes the judge will see his side and not send him back to jail.
Tyler also opens up about the program he’s working—MRT (Moral Reconation Therapy)—which could allow him to complete parole early this spring at his halfway mark. Alongside these challenges, he talks about spending time with his ex and her child, navigating family dynamics while trying to rebuild stability.
Employment has been another hurdle. Tyler recently lost a job due to transportation issues, but his optimism shines through as he shares the good news of landing a construction job. His determination to keep moving forward, even when setbacks pile up, is a testament to resilience and hope in recovery.
This episode is about the messy realities of parole, the deep bond between people and their service animals, and the grit it takes to keep fighting for a better life. Tyler’s journey reminds us that recovery isn’t linear—it’s a series of battles, victories, and choices that shape the path toward freedom.

“Still Here 91324: Building a Recovery Network One Ride at a Time”-claws out 13

In this inspiring episode, I sit down with Still Here 91324, the founder of a grassroots recovery foundation that’s already changing lives across his state. His mission is simple but ambitious: to create a network of support that eventually expands into every state, with a partner in each location running their own branch of the foundation. It’s a vision of nationwide solidarity, built from the ground up by someone who knows firsthand what service means.
Still Here shares the incredible dedication behind his work—driving people to recovery meetings from all corners of his state, sometimes spending hours on the road and paying for gas out of his own pocket. He talks about the sacrifices he’s made, including pulling money from his retirement savings to launch and fund the foundation, proving that his commitment to recovery isn’t just words—it’s action.
We also dive into the challenges of screening and deciding who the foundation can help. With limited resources, not everyone can be supported, and Still Here speaks candidly about the emotional weight of having to say no. His honesty about the struggles and the victories paints a vivid picture of what grassroots recovery work looks like: messy, exhausting, but deeply rewarding.
This episode is about vision, sacrifice, and the relentless drive to make recovery accessible. From the dream of nationwide expansion to the everyday reality of giving rides and funding operations out of pocket, Still Here 91324 shows us what it means to live in service of others. His story is a reminder that recovery isn’t just about personal healing—it’s about building communities where no one has to walk the path alone.

“From Parking Lots to New Beginnings: Derrick’s Story, Part 2” - episode 18

In Part 2 of Derrick’s powerful story, we pick up where we left off—at one of the most pivotal crossroads of his life. Derrick shares the heartbreaking moment of losing his mother and the complicated choices that followed, including the day he stood in the parking lot of a treatment center, ready to check in, only to turn back after his ex asked him to come home instead. Twice he faced that same moment, and twice he chose differently.
Derrick opens up about the impact of those decisions, the child he shares with his ex, and the custody held by the grandmother. He speaks with raw honesty about the pain, the setbacks, and the determination it took to keep moving forward. Eventually, Derrick found a rehab program that truly fit him—one where he could commit fully, graduate, and begin building a new life.
Today, Derrick’s story is one of resilience and redemption. He is married, raising a child with his wife, and working toward reconnecting with his other child. Professionally, he has built a successful career in HVAC, earning strong wages and preparing to buy a house—finally moving out of the apartment that once symbolized survival into a home that represents stability and growth.
This episode is about choices, consequences, and the courage to keep trying until recovery sticks. Derrick’s journey reminds us that even when the path is interrupted, healing is possible, and new beginnings are always within reach.

“Relapse vs Recovery: Games, Coloring Books, and Breaking the Rules with Dave” - claws out 12

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Dave—the creative force behind the board game Relapse vs Recovery and its expansion pack, as well as the unique coloring books designed specifically for people in recovery. Dave’s work is more than just creative projects; it’s a bold statement about turning lived experience into tools for healing, reflection, and even laughter in the face of struggle.
Dave opens up about his own journey through addiction, jail time, and rehab, sharing how those experiences shaped his vision for recovery-focused art and games. We talk about the risks he took in publishing Relapse vs Recovery, including the fallout at his former job where he was fired under claims of “dual relationships” if clients at the recovery center purchased his game. Despite the setback, Dave continues to push forward, creating resources that challenge stigma and spark conversation in unconventional ways.
This episode dives deep into the intersections of creativity, recovery, and resilience. From the expansion pack that adds new layers to his board game, to the coloring books that give alcoholics a way to process and express themselves, Dave’s projects are proof that recovery can be rebellious, innovative, and unapologetically real.
Whether you’re in recovery, supporting someone who is, or simply curious about how art and play can transform lives, Dave’s story will leave you inspired, challenged, and reminded that recovery isn’t just about surviving—it’s about creating.

“Faith, Recovery, and Redemption: Paula & Jessica at ROAR”-episode17

Tonight’s episode brings together two powerful voices in recovery and faith. Jessica returns to share how she and her husband have walked the path of sobriety side by side, finding strength in each other and in their recovery community. Joining her is Paula Wilson, pastor of Redeemed Outreach (ROAR) Church in Maysville, KY, a recovery‑based ministry where faith and healing meet. Paula is also a Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor and counselor at Mountain Comprehensive Care Center, blending professional expertise with spiritual guidance.
Together, Paula and Jessica open up about the role of ROAR in their lives, the unique support a recovery‑based church provides, and how community, counseling, and faith can transform the journey of healing. From personal breakthroughs to the power of testimony, this conversation highlights the hope that comes when recovery is rooted in connection and redemption.

“From Survival to Sobriety: Tyler’s 8‑Month Journey”-episode17

Tyler’s story is one of resilience, faith, and determination. Born into an abusive home, he often stepped in to protect his younger siblings until CPS intervened, splitting the children between grandparents who gave them safer lives. Despite finding stability and excelling in sports, Tyler’s teenage years took a sharp turn — experimenting with drugs and alcohol, dropping out of school, and spiraling into IV drug use.
By 22, prison became a revolving door until a six‑year sentence forced him to confront his past. Behind bars, Tyler found God and began reshaping his future. Now, eight months into recovery, he’s building a new life: working union carpentry, showing up for meetings, practicing self‑care, and sharing his journey with honesty and grit.
In this episode, Tyler opens up about the turning points that shaped him, the hiccup that reminded him of the path he doesn’t want to take, and the joy of reconnecting with family after years apart. His story is a raw reminder that recovery is possible — and that hope can be rebuilt one day at a time.

“From Handcuffs to Hope: Trinity’s Road to Recovery- Episode 16

Trinity’s journey began with a shocking revelation around age 11—the man she thought was her father wasn’t, and her parents’ divorce sent her spiraling. Soon she was drinking, skipping school, and chasing chaos, even wrecking her mother’s car while pretending to be sick at home. A basketball injury introduced her to opiates, and by 17 she was a young mother hiding her addiction behind lies and late nights.
Her spiral deepened: another marriage, another child, and eventually the devastating choice to give up her parental rights. Jail cells, hospital beds, and courtrooms became routine, but nothing slowed her down—until her mother’s tragic accident forced her to confront the reality of her life.
With little support and stigma surrounding treatment, Trinity fought her way into rehab, spending her mother’s final days by her side before committing to recovery. Today, she has years clean, works for the city, and even found herself behind the wheel of a police car—not in handcuffs, but driving it to the shop. She’s rebuilding relationships with her children and walking alongside a partner in recovery, proving that redemption is possible no matter how far you’ve fallen.
This episode is a raw, unflinching look at resilience, the fight for sobriety, and the power of second chances.

“Six Months Clean: Tyler’s Fight Against the Odds”-Clawsoutpart10-audiochannel

Tyler grew up in a family rooted in law enforcement and military values, but trauma found him early. First came sexual abuse by a family friend—pain he carried in silence until adulthood. Then came the violence of an ex-stepfather, where Tyler and his brother “took the beating for their mom.” By 18, prison, gangs, and meth had taken hold.
The spiral deepened when he lost someone he loved—an ex who overdosed beside him while they were homeless. That moment pulled him into fentanyl addiction, leading to five overdoses, one so severe that the maximum dose of Narcan barely brought him back.
Yet Tyler’s story doesn’t end there. After jail, rejection, and relapse, he found harm reduction—a program that met him where he was, without pressure or judgment. Today, Tyler is six months clean, proving that recovery is possible when compassion and persistence collide.
This episode is a raw look at survival, resilience, and the power of meeting people where they are.